I am from a small town called Meerut and this is my love story. I was around 11 Years old when I first fell in love.
It was the cold month of October and on a weekend I went to watch “Kuch Kuch Hota hai” ( a famous Hindi movie) with my family. The moment the film got over and I walked out of the theatre with the left over popcorn, my face was all lit up. My heart felt something, something which I still cannot explain in words, but now I know the feeling – the feeling is called Love. Yes that was the movie which made me fell in love for the first time.
That day I walked home and like a hopeless lover I was hooked to my tape recorder the whole time, listening to the songs of the movie on repeat, trying to be with it for as long as possible. I was not willing to leave it aside like any other movie I had ever seen nor was I able to get over with the characters, the storyline and everything. From that day I clung with anyone I knew was going to watch that movie in the theatre, and I ended up watching it for around 10-15 times. That was the time I fell in love with movies. That was the time I realized what I wanted to do for the rest of my life and that was the time when I first encountered her..and it was love at first sight. Yes..!! I was in love with my Dream.!!
Since then we never left each other even for a second. We were always together, holding hands, finding the little space in our hearts for each other. We cried together, we laughed together and we shared every emotion. My dream was my companion in my hard times, and in my lonely times, as we stood together against the rest of the world.
But like every other relationship, there was an exam waiting to test our bond. I came down to Mumbai and for 4 years I struggled hard to just once hold my dream in my arms, to get to touch her once and kiss her passionately. The more the world tried to keep us apart the more we tightened our hold onto each other. The grip was strong, both of us were not ready to let go of our relationship. But nothing was working out. The struggle got hard day by day and it finally started affecting our love. Slowly it started making our relationship bitter bit by bit…and then came the time when I started shattering into pieces. She tried to keep me together but then, I was giving up. I was losing all the hopes of our happy future, and finally I decided to give up. Yes..I decided to breakup with her. Though even the thought of it gave me jitters, I decided to do it..as I thought that what is meant to be is meant to be. I cannot hold to this dying relationship anymore as that was not fair to me. Amidst all this what I forgot was how will she feel. I was the only way for her existence. I was the only one she lived for and if I gave up I knew she will die. But the clouds of selfishness covered all the feeling of love I had for her.
I broke the news to her..” I am breaking up with you..You are free to go and find someone better who can take care of you”
and the moment I said this she started gasping for breath I looked deep into her eyes, there was pain, pain of betrayal but I looked away as, I didn’t want to weaken at this moment. I saw her vanishing in the air moment by moment and I stood still like a looser and slowly, she passed away.
I took a deep breath, trying to release the heaviness in my heart and made a cup of hot cocoa. I sat by the window, thinking of what I needed to do next? I thought for a while but I was not able to find anything as since the day I fell in love with her I thought about nothing other than loving her. It was late at night and I was not able to find anything so, I decided to go to sleep and leave it for now.
Next morning when I woke up, I felt little unwell. I decided to have some soup and rest for the day. I tried to read some book but I was not able to concentrate. I tried to watch some movies, some series but I felt restless. I then decided to go and meet a friend for coffee, as I thought may be a little chat with a friend will make me feel good.
I entered the cafe and saw my friend already waiting there. She hugged me tight. We ordered two lattes. She looked at me for a second and then asked me why I looked so weary. I told her that I am a bit unwell. She smiled at me and then said..”You know the moment you called me up I was about to call you too..I wanted to tell you something..” I looked at her. She said..” I got my dream job..I am going to San Francisco..Finally after so many years my dream came true..!!” She jumped as the words came out of her mouth. The moment I heard them I was not able to hear anything more. Tears came to my eyes. I remembered my dream and the relationship we shared. At that moment all I wanted to do was to run, run to get her back, run to find her. I felt sad..I wanted to find her and hug her tight and tell her that I will never ever leave her. She is mine for life. I started feeling like a restless immature lover, trying to win his love back.
And that was the moment when someone whispered something in my ears. It was her. She said..”You know..I never left you and I promise neither will I ever leave you.”
I looked around and found her waiting for me… sparkling with love. I smiled at her trying to control my tears. Oh.! this unconditional love..!
She told me..” You know I never left you..I just hid my self somewhere deeper in your heart, where you cannot see me easily. I am you. You are my existence how can I ever leave you. “
As the words uttered out of her mouth I hugged her tightly and the worst breakup period of my life was over.
Since then we are living happily. Fighting with the world together. Nevertheless I am still waiting for the day I will kiss her and will wrap her in my arms. But until then the journey continues.!!