Non Fiction

Why my marriage is my Parent’s responsibility??

Few days back I was sitting by my balcony beside my plants and was enjoying my evening coffee, when my phone rang. It was Supriya and old friend. Supriya and I are very close friends since college days. Excitedly I picked up the call and what I heard uplifted my mood and I jumped in excitement. Supriya is getting married. Igot so excited on hearing this and immediately we started planning about everything, I didnt cared that her wedding was after 6 months, I just wanted to start the preparations right then.

It was then when I felt some hesitation in her voice. I asked her the reason and what she told me kept me thinking for a long time. She was happy about the marriage, but what was bothering her was the huge expenses that her parents were deciding to do. The lavish wedding, the huge guest list and then gifts and gifts and more gifts for everyone. She was happy with the wedding but she somehow was not feeling good about her parents spending so much savings on this wedding.

Her situation got me thinking that in India, we proudly and happily welcome the newborn in our families and with all the happy moments filled with smiles and laughter comes the never ending responsibilities for the parents.

In India when a girl is born parents start planning her marriage. They educate her, make her responsible and independent but than also marriage and saving for her marriage is an important part of the plan.

But why is a girl’s marriage or for that matter the boy’s marriage is the responsibility of the parents. They have given us birth, best of the possible education and everything that we ever desire, isn’t that enough? Why cannot we be responsible enough and spare them from this responsibility of bearing all that marriage expenses. Isn’t whatever they have already done for us enough? Shouldn’t they think about themselves and their comfortable future rather than investing most of the saving in getting their children married and spending all the savings on a big marriage ceremony to maintain their status in the society.

Why in India marriage is still a parent’s responsibility? Why can’t we get married on our own expenses, according to our own budgets?

Can’t we set them free from this one burden..I know its always difficult to change norms, it is more difficult to make the parents understand but than at least we all can stand together and walk hand in hand, towards this new change.

Yes, I am a beloved child but I don’t want my parents to spend all their savings or even a part of it on my marriage. I want them to keep that money for their future, so that later on in their lives they do not have to be dependent on anyone else.

They fulfilled all their responsibilities, when they got me admitted to a good school, or when I got the opportunity to study in a good college. When they made me capable to earn my livelihood and live with confidence.

So, my marriage is not their responsibility. They have already completed their responsibilities for me. Now its time they live for themselves. Now is the time they live their dreams which they sacrificed while bringing me up.!!

What do you guys think??

Manasi Umanita

Advertisements

28 thoughts on “Why my marriage is my Parent’s responsibility??”

  1. Norms can be changed.. but not for our parents’ generation (certain thoughts will never work out with our older generation).. we can change it when it comes to our generation… When our time comes, we can let our children do court marriages… 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  2. सबसे पहले तो अच्छा लिखने की बधाई।
    आजकल शादियाँ पहले से ज्यादा खर्चीली हो गईं हैं। परम्परा, स्टेटस, दिखावा, प्यार, माँग आदि कई कारण हैं जो माँ-बाप को ज्यादा खर्चा करवाने को मजबूर करते हैं। जिसके पास ज्यादा पैसा होता है वह शादी में ज्यादा खर्चा करके अपना रुतबा दिखाता है और दूसरों के लिये भी एक स्तर तय कर देता है जिसे मज़बूरी में उन्हें निभाना भी पड़ता है। कार्यक्रम सादे और सरल रहे तो ही अच्छा है। पर ये रुकेगा नहीं। हाँ सबकी अपनी मर्जी हो, मज़बूरी से खर्च न करना पड़े, क़र्ज़ न लेना पड़े ऐसी स्वतंत्रता सबको होनी चाहिए जिसके लिये सभी को जिम्मेदारी लेनी होगी। हमारे देश में तो किसी के मरने के बाद के रीति रिवाज़ निभाने में अपनी सम्पत्ति तक बेचनी पड़ जाती हैं । रीति रिवाज़, आयोजन-प्रयोजन श्रद्धा और ख़ुशी के अनुसार हों लाचारी और मज़बूरी के कारण नहीं।

    Liked by 1 person

  3. आजकल शादियाँ पहले से ज्यादा खर्चीली हो गईं हैं। परम्परा, स्टेटस, दिखावा, प्यार, माँग आदि कई कारण हैं जो माँ-बाप को ज्यादा खर्चा करवाने को मजबूर करते हैं। जिसके पास ज्यादा पैसा होता है वह शादी में ज्यादा खर्चा करके अपना रुतबा दिखाता है और दूसरों के लिये भी एक स्तर तय कर देता है जिसे मज़बूरी में उन्हें निभाना भी पड़ता है। कार्यक्रम सादे और सरल रहे तो ही अच्छा है। पर ये रुकेगा नहीं। हाँ सबकी अपनी मर्जी हो, मज़बूरी से खर्च न करना पड़े, क़र्ज़ न लेना पड़े ऐसी स्वतंत्रता सबको होनी चाहिए जिसके लिये सभी को जिम्मेदारी लेनी होगी। हमारे देश में तो किसी के मरने के बाद के रीति रिवाज़ निभाने में अपनी सम्पत्ति तक बेचनी पड़ जाती हैं । रीति रिवाज़, आयोजन-प्रयोजन श्रद्धा और ख़ुशी के अनुसार हों लाचारी और मज़बूरी के कारण नहीं।

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I believe the mindset is changing atleast in the urban and higher middle class families, especiallt the fact that both the genders are gaining equality. The thoughts of dowry are still deeply routed in the culture and it would take a big proportion of the society to change.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. First i though its on “BIG INDIAN MARRIAGE” but it is much deeper than that. yes i truly respect your points ………our parents earned it and they have all the rights to make there life comfortable , live there hobbies or desires or whatever they want 🙂

    Loved your though……..keep writing keep smiling 🙂 and haa keep planning for your friend’s marriage 😉

    Like

Comments are closed.